Oh boy, guys. What ever do you think they’ll find? When Uncle Sam figures this one out in, oh, seven years, maybe we’ll see some price drops—change we can believe in. As long as Attorney General Loretta Lynch is at it, here are some other ideas:

  • DOJ investigating whether airplanes really fly
  • DOJ investigating why pilots talk like that
  • DOJ investigating what the deal is with airplane food
  • DOJ investigating why airplane bathrooms are so tiny
  • DOJ investigating passenger farting
  • DOJ investigating tiny bottles of Smirnoff
  • DOJ investigating whether people like taking off their shoes at security checkpoints
  • DOJ investigating limited-recline seats

Contact the author at jessica@jezebel.com.